Rp paper for school

Seamus was sitting on a beach in New York he thought about surfing. "Why not Surf today" he thought to himself . Seamus had his surfboard by him his blonde hair flopped in the wind. Seamus looked at the oceans tides today they were higher then usual . Seamus started to say something Why is today so hot it was the middle of August. Seamus looked at the waves it was his favorite thing to do in the Summer so he grabed his surfboard and ran for the ocean. Seamus got on his surfboard and started to surf. This is what i call fun!!!!!!!!

Seamus looked at the waves he was so smart about waves you wouldn't guess how good he is. Yes my surfing is here ! he yelled. Seamius was so soaked it wasn't funny. Then the sun started to set then Seamus got home. Hello Seamus how was your day. Seamus looked at his mom and said I was surfing all day mom. he grined at her. Then went to his room and listened to his Ipod Touch.

you still need to remember the quotation marks, man. in addition, you don't need spaces between the last word and a period. you need a space between the period and the next word, yes, but not after the last word. also, if you're going to have spoken words in a sentence with unspoken words following, try this. "Why are there so many demons?" the demigod shouted. or try "Thanks," The youth stated, "But friends are something I've not had that much of." Punctuation, man. I may sound like a broken record here, but you are allowed to put a period or comma or other punctuation marks before the second set of quotations.

ok but is it good

It's an improvement, to say the least, but a publishing company would laugh you out of the building if you wrote a book like that. At any rate, you are improving, and show some promise, with work.

Seamus sat down after a tough day of school he was attacked by a telkine again. He started to say something " Why did i get attacked by a telkine today?" he asked himself Seamus looked out the window of his house. " Save me someone please!"he said He saw a figue outside his window in his room. He took a closer brook something shocked him "OW!" he yelled. He looked at his finger it was stinging badley. He looked at his room it was changing his room his vision was blury like he was going through a blind moment.

He walked down to the kitchen. His mom eyes meet with his she was mad about something. He looked around and it was normal his site he tried to go to his room but something stopped him. A voice in his head started talking "Seamus Luke Peresus Dellas do as i say or face a life threaten action." Seamus looked at his mom and gave her a worried look.

In all honesty, you're repeating the same mistakes as before. try going through your posts before posting them to check for errors.

ok can i please post a thread

I never was stopping you. all you need to do is at least TRY to improve. it won't get you out till you've "proven yourself Worthy," but then you can continue to practise outside of the RP school. I believe I've already mentioned this.

thomas can you just pass me

Seamus please be patient, you won't be able to pass this in a day, maybe a week.