Another Rp School Fourm

Seamus was in his room on a Saturday Morning he was listening to his I Pod he waited for his mom to tell its time for breakfeast. Seamus Breakfeast is ready yelled his mom. Seamus took off his headphones and went downstairs to eat. His mom said Goo Morning to him. Mom it my birthday to day my 14 brithday did you forget already. Seamus looked at his mom with a confused look. Mom how could you forget my brithday!! He looked at his mom and she was slient. Seamus went to Central Park for a walk.

The kids at the park were playing games and stuff he looked around and noone was looking at him. Why is everyone ignoreing me he said. Did he do anything he thought to himself. Seamus took a walk around the park he looked to see if anyone saw him or say Happy Brithday to him. Noone did Seamus was sad now he never thought this would be this bad noone talked to him today and it was his brithday i guess noone liked him much he was really paranoid now. He look and looked. Noone talked to him. He headed back home in tears

You should color code your thoughts as well, but you don't need to color code 'his mom yelled.' or 'he said'. plus, i'm fairly certain that iPod is one word, spelt like I put it. you also forgot "Quotation marks", and punctuation could still use some work.

ok maybe tonight i will pass this school

It generally takes a little while longer. you also need to roleplay better in the actual RP area. go ahead and try to do better. just because you're in RP school doesn't mean you can't RP. it just means you need work.

thanks

again, five word rule, man.